Don't Stroke At Midnight
A man was driving home late one night and was feeling very horny. As he passed a pumpkin patch, his mind started to wander. He thought to himself, "You know, a pumkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles." He pulled over to the side of the road picked out a nice juicy-looking pumkin, cut the appropriate size hole in it, and began to do the pumpkin.
After a while, he is really into it, so he doesn't notice the police car pull up. The cop walks over and says, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are having sex with a pumpkin?"
The man looks at the cop in complete horror, thinks fast and says, " A pumpkin? Is it midnight already?"
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