Gary Condit's Clock
One day Gary Condit's wife died and went to heaven, and there she met Saint Peter. She started to look around and she noticed there were thousands of clocks everywhere. As she looked over at one it moved she saw that the hand moved just two ticks.
She asked Saint Peter, "Why are there so many clocks in heaven?"
Saint Peter answered, "Well, every time you tell a lie the clock moves one second."
Mrs. Condit said, "I think I get it, but which one is Gary's clock?"
Saint Peter answers, "God has it up in his office, he's using it as a FAN!"
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