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Sesame Street Bus Driver

Have you heard about the man who got the job driving the bus for Sesame Street? He was really looking forward to meeting all the Sesame St. characters, and so he was filled with great anticipation his first day on the job. As he stood outside the bus waiting for his riders to begin to arrive, the first person he saw approaching the bus was an *extremely* large woman. Before she boarded the bus, he asked her her name. Huffing and puffing from the exertion of walking, she replied, "My name is Patty." "Well, Patty, climb on board. We'll be leaving shortly." The next passenger, a man just as big as the woman, was wearing a large green suit. When asked his name by the new driver, he replied with a noticeable accent, "My name is Patrick...I'm Irish, you know. My friends all call me 'Patty'." "Patty, meet Patty. You two can get to know each other while I await several more passengers that I see coming."

As the new driver stood there, he found himself thinking, "Where are Bert and Ernie???" The next passenger was a little retarded boy. "Hi, little boy. What's your name?" "My name is Ross, and my parents tell me I'm special." "Ross, I'm really glad to have a nice boy like you ride on my bus today. Climb on, and we'll leave in just a minute." The last person to approach the bus was a really strange looking man. "Hello, sir. What's your name?" In a surly manner he answered, "My name is Lester Creep!" For lack of anything better to say, he told him, "Lester, we're about to leave so please have a seat."

Now the driver was really thinking, "I thought I was going to meet Big Bird and Cookie Monster!!!" As he was pulling away from the curb, he looked in his rear view mirror. Much to his horror, he saw Lester sitting there with his shoe off, picking at a bunion or something on his big toe. "Oh, gross!" he thought. "This is nothing like I thought it would be! No Bert, no Ernie! Just a bunch of weirdos!!!"

He mulled it all over for a while, then suddenly he began to smile. He thought to himself, "Who would ever believe that, the first day on my new job I have two obese Patties, special Ross, and Lester Creep pickin' bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?!?!"

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