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Lawyer One-Liners

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt?
- The bucket.

Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California have all the lawyers?
- Because New Jersey got first pick!

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
- One's a slimy scum-sucking scavenger, the other is just a fish

What do you need when you have a car half full of cement and a lawyer in it?
- More cement.

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
- God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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