If government is going to put health warning labels on beer,
wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness
about the matter!
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with
breath that could knock a buzzard off a truck at 100 yards.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like a jerk.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at
4 in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to
smash your head in.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay things
like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss
what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office
Christmas party.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell ever happened to your pants (panties) anyway.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name
you can't remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burn on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really
big biker guy named "Big Al."
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps
of time may seem to literally disappear.
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